


Staring

by NotLostAnymore



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Drabble, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-02
Updated: 2014-05-02
Packaged: 2018-01-21 15:07:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1554701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotLostAnymore/pseuds/NotLostAnymore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean knows he shouldn't be staring.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Staring

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hikari0205](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hikari0205/gifts).



> This is for Kari as it's her birthday!

Dean knows he shouldn’t be staring but sometimes he really can’t help it. There’s just something different about Castiel, something that grabs Dean’s attention when he knows it shouldn’t. Maybe it’s the way the other boy always insists on wearing a tie to school or the awkward smile he catches Castiel giving him friends or the way his eyes are just so damn blue. Those blue eyes have haunted Dean’s dreams for longer than he can remember and he still has no idea why.

What’s so special about Castiel? He should be just another nerd, barely registering on Dean’s radar unless he needs somebody to push around but he’s not. He’s something else.

It’s worse when Castiel catches him staring. The quizzical look he receives make Dean feel so strange he has to look away, like there’s something crawling up inside him just waiting to get out.

A part of Dean already knows what it is. He _likes_ Castiel – a lot more than he should too. It’s not just because Castiel is friends with the biggest nerds in school and Dean’s a linebacker on the football team, it’s because Castiel is a dude and Dean’s pretty damn sure he’s not supposed to look at other dudes the way he looks at Castiel.

They’ve never spoken one-to-one before and honestly, Dean’s glad. He doesn’t need this situation getting any worse than it already is. His heart already beats twice as fast when he sees Castiel in the corridor and his hand already twitches to punch the teammate he sees teasing the other boy. It’s just the way high school is and there’s no way of changing that.

At least, that’s what Dean tells himself to try and make it seem okay. 

In truth, he knows it’s not okay. He should say something to his friends. Tell them to back off Castiel. That wouldn’t get him anywhere apart from on their hitlist though and he’s not prepared to do that. He likes being on the football team and having guys he can depend on, he just wishes that he didn’t have ‘The Castiel Problem’ to deal with. That’s what it is at its root – a problem. Maybe if Castiel was a girl, there wouldn’t be as much of an issue but he’s not and that’s not exactly going to change. 

Dean knows he just has to accept that he may have a tiny, miniscule crush on a strange nerdy boy he sees at school every day and move on with his life. 

Besides, even if he could act on it without fear of being ostracized from his whole life, who was to say Castiel would want him to? The other boy probably hates him. It’s not like Dean’s ever been nice to him or ever stopped his friends from picking on him or anything worthy of the boy’s time. Dean scoffs at that. Since when did he need to be _worthy_ of anybody’s attention? If anything, they need to be worthy of him – Castiel needs to be worthy of him.

Dean’s so caught up in his thoughts that he doesn’t even realize he’s walked into Castiel until the boy’s on the floor in front of him, eyes wide in terror like he’s just made the biggest mistake of his life. Dean feels his heart flutter for a moment and then drop like a stone. The look Castiel gives him is nothing like the ones he gives the other boy because they’re the same face every kid he’s ever pushed out of the way gives him. 

Before he even knows what he’s doing, Dean’s already grabbing the other boy by the arm and pulling him up to his feet. Castiel just stares at him, practically shaking as if he’s waiting for Dean to suddenly push him over again or something potentially worse. Dean knows there are people watching, already gossiping and questioning why he just helped somebody he should hate. It takes everything Dean has to fix his face into a glare and growl, “Watch yourself.”

He walks away before Castiel can, meeting the strange looks he gets from bystanders until his glare becomes genuine. He feels like shit, Castiel’s terrified expression haunting him every time he closes his eyes. 

It’s in the weight room when Dean decides. He’s beating the shit out of a punching bag to try and get his frustrations out until he physically can’t throw another punch. He hasn’t stopped thinking about Castiel for a minute and it’s starting to hurt inside. He knows he needs to say something, to tell the other boy what’s going on. He needs to be brave and just do it, even though Dean’s pretty sure he’s never been this scared in his whole life.

Well, there’s no time like the present. Time for the truth to out…

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so the ending sucked. I'm tempted to write more though...


End file.
